RANDOM-ES : Eternity

*waving my hands* 

ETERNITY

It was a warm, cold night. I could not sleep at all. I grabbed my shawl, and went outside. It was cold, indeed. I look up. It was the stars that drove me crazy. Such beautiful stars sprinkled on the sky, twinkled as if they were talking to each other. I smiled, and continued to walk. Opened the gate and went out straight to the lake. While walking, I had seen so many things that I had never seen before. The flowers, brighter than what I have saw in the morning. The grass, green combined with light blue that sparkled when I touch them.

I sat in front of the lake, gazing at the stars. Connecting the stars to each other. What a ridiculous thing to do, in a middle of the night I don't mind. I like watching the stars twinkling to each other. They seem to have a lot of fun with each other. I know it. I imagined my younger brother and sister. They were Jake and Maya. So chubby and vivacous, I laughed every single time they have those "cute" fights. I wish they were in front of me. Making me smile, making me happy always.

When I first knew that I was going to be a big sister, I was shocked. I did not think that this moment would even come. I just waited for nine whole months. It felt like an eternity for me. Just waiting... Waiting... Waiting... And...

Waiting.

They were finally born on 5 May 2005. I watched them cry, smile, and sleep. Barely touched them first week after they were born. I was afraid I might hurt them badly. Feeling braver than ever when they were two years old. I taught them how to conduct a ship in the playground. It was so much fun. They were pretty fast learners. I solute them whenever they did something amazing. Jake can play football when he was five years old. Maya can dance gracefully like a ballerina when she was eight. I was inspired every time I look at what they are doing. They taught me some lessons in life. I love them very much.

I saw Jake and Maya in the sky. The stars were really doing all the flashbacks of memories I had when I was small. Oh, there were Mama and Papa too. Mama was always wearing her apron. Her hair was short, just above the elbow. It was wavy and brown in colour. As aways, I waited for an eternity for Mama to finish cooking her delidious meals. I loved every single dish she made. She would always clean the room, organise everything. I would sit on the floor for an eternity listening to her being angry at me. How I miss those days...  

There was Papa. His eyes were blue. So blue that you can see the ocean once you stare at him. He was always working in town, as a business man. I would wait for an eternity for him to come home, but most of the time I would fall asleep. I noticed every night, after he cleaned himself, he would come to our bedrooms and kiss our foreheads. Sometimes, I can feel a drop of water dropped onto my cheek. Was it him, crying? I do not really know. He was a funny dad. Every single parties that he held, I will hear laughs and chuckles. I can see smiles in every guests' face. I love him, I really do.

I took a long breath. I watched the lake. There was a bungalow placed not so far from here. I can imagine a family who has a happy life, sleeping soundly in their bedrooms. I wonder, why I am here. I miss Mama, Papa, Jake and Maya. I took a deep breath and let it out. There was a cold fluid that made contact with my cheeks. I.. I... I let it out. I was out of breath. I cannot control myself.

It felt like an eternity waiting them. I knew they will come back. Please, oh please. Come back. Do not go. I need you guys. Why must I survive? I can picture it clearly. Jake and Maya were sitting beside me. I knew something was going to happen that day. I ignored the feeling. Honestly, I want time to reverse. Can I at least warn Papa not to go out that day? Can I at least warn Mama? Can I at least give the last hugs to Jake and Maya? Can I? 

The car crashed into a big lorry.

I can feel my heartbeat. It was faster than ever. As fast as lightning.

It went black. When I finally saw light, Granny was crying. Crying softly. I was... Confused. I do not know what to do. I do not know where I am, or why was I wrapped in papers? I cannot move with the cast placed on my neck. I cannot do anything. I cannot even speak with all these tubes in my nostrils, mask that was placed on my mouth. I do not know what to do.

Two days after, that is when I discovered that Papa, Mama, Jake and Maya were on their way to see God. I held my breath. It was not easy losing them. I loved them very much. I had to switch schools, live with Granny. I knew my life would change immediately. I looked at the stars again. Although they were surrounded by darkness, I knew they were bright. The brightness they made as if they were spreading kindness to others, so that the others could shine bright just like them. I want to be a star.

I want to be a bright star!

I want to light others. Eventhough the path itself is dark, I want to be the light who can shine the way. I want to be a star. Papa, Mama.. I promise I will be a star that can shine and light the way so you can see where you go. Jake, Maya.. I promise I will be the brightest star ever. I will be the brightest star so that you can always see the path you were heading to.

I will wait for an eternity., to become the star.

I will wait for an...

Eternity.

Nina-chan has to go. See you soon and Assalamualaikum!